How Firestar Became A Pimp: Uncensored
by Fullmetaldoge
Summary: I saw a story up here that was "How Jayfeather became a pimp", so I created one for Firestar. This story is multi-ship. You will see more than the characters listed in the description. I originally created this story on Quotev, so you can find it up there. This version is uncensored, though. I am not quite finished uncensoring yet. This will likely contain lemons...
1. Chapter 1

_Bitches need to groom themselves._ Firestar thought in his head as he walked out of camp. _Bitches don't suspect a thing._ No one questions Firestar. _I wish I could slap the bitches sometimes._ He reached the edge of the territory north of the lake. _Mmm. It's so peaceful._

"F-Firestar..." 

Firestar turned his head to see his mate behind him looking nervous. "What?" 

"Hey! You slut!" 

Firestar turned his head to another she-cat. _Why is Sandstorm and Spottedleaf here?_

"What's goin' on (haha the reference)?!" Firestar jumped to his feet and unsheathed his claws discretely. 

"These whores are trying to take you!" Cinderpelt limped ran to the group with a mad expression. 

"Bitches be doing what?" he stuck his head forward in confusion. 

"Firestar, I am your mate! You can't love them!" Sandstorm stared deep into his eyes and flicked her ears back to look cute. 

"But you loved me first! I lied, I'm not okay with you and Sandstorm!" she pushed Sandstorm aside. 

"Firestar... I always loved you, but I never told you... "It can't work because you're a medicine cat now." Big lie! You are okay with Spottedleaf, but I'm totally different, huh?" Cinderpelt vented her anger to try to make him realize all the hurt he put her through. 

"Shut up!" Spottedleaf and Sandstorm said in unison as they shoved the cripple into a bush. 

"So, bitches fighting over me now?" Firestar smirked as he slumped against a tree. 

"Damn right!" Spottedleaf yowled. 

"Wait, can't we share him?" Cinderpelt yowled from the bushes, trying to untangle her crippled leg from the branches. 

Firestar finally decided to join in the conversation, "Oh, I got an idea!" 

The she-cats all turned to Firestar, still having their claws in each other's fur. 

"Why don't we share?" 

Cinderpelt threw her head back in annoyance. Even though he always did this to her, she loved him anyways. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. It's better than us all killing each other..." 

"BUT HE'S MINE!" Sandstorm hissed. 

"Listen, bitch, I don't have to be your mate. There are plenty more she-cats lining up to take your spot. I would watch your words, if I were you." 

"MHM." Spottedleaf agreed. 

Firestar sat up and wrapped his tail around his paws. "I think this is a good idea. I will have you all work for me. The cats who obtain your "services" will pay us so many pieces of fresh-kill or whatever we need. Most of the fresh-kill will go to me, but the bottom bitch gets the rest. She distributes all the fresh-kill or whatever to you all." 

The she-cats stayed silent for a minute to think before Sandstorm interrupted, "Who's the bottom bitch, then?" 

"Well, you are my actual mate, at the moment, so you will be the bottom bitch." 

"Is there any way I could be the bottom bitch?" Cinderpelt asked as she finally untangled herself from the bush. 

Firestar let out an annoyed sigh as he took some leaves and rolled them into a tube with his paws. He stuck the rolled up leaves in his paws and breathed in the scent. "Mmmm... Poppy seeds and juniper berries really do make you feel good..."

"Firestar!" Spottedleaf yowled. 

"Oh, right. To be the bottom bitch, I must decide you are worthy." 

"What if the bottom bitch dies?" Cinderpelt meowed between gritted teeth as she shot daggers with her eyes at Sandstorm. 

"Oh, that won't happen. There will be punishment for that." he gave an evil smirk as he continued to puff the leaves again. 

"We need to get more bitches and actually find some clients." 

Chapter 1 theme- Natasha Bedingfield- I Wanna Have Your Babies


	2. Chapter 2

Firestar looked across the camp. _Nice, not a single cat was upset. They weren't a single bit mad about the half-clan relationships._

"Daddy, what's a twerk?"

Firestar didn't bother turn around. Won't let his nice suit get ruined for any bitch. "Ask Sandstorm." 

"She's... busy." Squirrelkit answered. 

"The bitch better be...You see, a twerk is something she-cats do so they don't get beat up by me." Firestar finally answered, somewhat acting like a decent father.

"And... Where's Leafkit? Is she... busy?"

"Listen, I'm not that bad pimp daddy. I don't do no kit hoin'. Spottedleaf is "mentoring" her. I thought you were supposed to be there, too." he growled. Just because she isn't a hoe yet doesn't mean she shouldn't learn. Bitches be stupid.

"Okay, daddy... I love you." she muttered as she exited the den.

"You too, baby girl." he whispered to himself. _That's the only thing I would change if I could. I don't want my baby girl to be hurt... Hmmm... maybe she could be the bottom bitch? Nah. Maybe she could be a normal she-cat. She could just hoe for her mate. Like it used to be..._ Firestar violently shook his head. _No, I can't let anyone figure out... I will let her be that way, but I'll just tell everyone she was claimed._

"Firestar," Ferncloud walked into the den, seemingly tired. "Dustpelt gave me five mice." 

"Give me two, unless you wanna get bitch slapped." 

"Yes, master..." she slid two of her mice over to him. "What do I do with the rest?"  
 _Bitches can't do math._ "Give one to Squirrelkit and Leafkit. The rest will go to Sandstorm." he meowed condescendingly. 

"Thank you, master." 

"For the last time, bitch! I ain't your master! Dustpelt is now! You just give me the mice!" he snapped.

"S-sorry!" she scrunched herself up to seem smaller. "I won't let it happen again..."

Firestar snorted. "Mhm. You no longer give me mice, by the way. Dustpelt is your master, you give mice to him. Got it, bitch?"

"Y-y-yes!" she meowed. 

"Bitch dismissed." Firestar waved his tail with mice tail tassels to signal her out. What's mice tail tassels, you ask? It's tassels he added to his tail out of mice tails, bitch! 

"Daddy!" Firestar heard Leafkit and Squirrelkit approach the den. "Spottedleaf showed us everything. It was very graphic and detailed." 

"It looked fun!" Leafkit meowed excitedly. 

"Meh." Squirrelkit commented. 

"Squirrelkit, Leafkit, do you understand what really goes on?" Firestar's voice lowered slightly as he realized the news he was about to tell them. 

"Not really..." Leafkit replied for both of the she-kits. 

"Trust me, you don't wanna get in this business. Let me explain..." Firestar began explaining to them as much as he could. He didn't want them in this business. 

"Oh..." they both muttered quietly. 

"Daddy, why did you do that?" Squirrelkit carefully asked to avoid him lashing out. 

"I did it because Daddy's a mousebrain. I hope you two can forgive me..." he legitimately meowed with sadness while keeping his blank gaze towards the ground. "But, I won't let that happen to you kits... You will have a choice of your mate, not me. You may sleep in my den with me and Sandstorm so you will not be harassed by the other toms who don't have as good judgement as me." 

"Thank you, Daddy." Leafkit and Squirrelkit tackled him playfully. 

Firestar chuckled as he tried to pull them off. _I can get more suits..._

Chapter 2 theme- What I've Done- Linkin Park


	3. Chapter 3

-LE TIMESKIP TO BRAMBLEBAE AND ASSBAE ASHBAE- 

"Firestar!" Squirrelflight walked into his den. "I have a question." 

"What is it?" his tone immediately changed from pimp to Daddy after realizing it was his daughter. 

"I-is B-Brambleclaw in a r-relationship with any of y-your bitches?" she stuttered with red dusting her cheeks, which went unnoticed because fur covered her face. 

"Oh." he realized what she meant now. "No." 

"Really?!" she jumped with excitement and happiness. 

Firestar sighed, "Yeah, I mentored him to be a pimp daddy, or as the other clans call it, deputy. He's a good tom. He doesn't plan on bitch slapping his hoes. He said that he didn't really wanna be a pimp daddy, but he wants to show everycat that he is different than Tigerstar..." 

"Thanks, Firestar." Squirrelflight touched noses with Firestar (in a daughterly way) then quickly rushed out of the den. 

"Um... Brambleclaw... can I talk to you?" she approached Brambleclaw without her usual confident personality. 

"Sure. Let's talk outside camp (not like that you pervs :l)." 

Squirrelflight quietly followed Brambleclaw outside the camp and inhaled his comforting scent (toms can smell good, too). They stopped at an irregularly shaped tree and both of them sat on their haunches (I'll actually use a nice word :3). "...So, I heard you haven't taken any bitches yet..." Squirrelflight shifted her paws awkwardly with the small talk. 

"Yeah... Squirrelflight, I heard you never take "requests" from other toms." Brambleclaw asked, adding emphasis on "request". 

"Mhm. I would rather be with the tom I truly love than a random one that probably won't even remember my name." Squirrelflight muttered. 

"Why did you really wanna talk to me?" Brambleclaw went straight to the point, surprising Squirrelflight. 

Squirrelflight's cheeks turned a deep crimson which is unnoticeable through her fur (duh). She dug her claws into the ground and shifted uncomfortably. "Brambleclaw... can't you see? I-I l-love you..." 

"I thought I would never hear those words. Why don't we go back to old tradition with just one mate?"Brambleclaw suggested with a relieved voice. 

"Mhm." Squirrelflight simply replied. 

"Brambleclaw made me upset today." Squirrelflight plopped down beside Ashfur with a piece of prey. 

"What did he do?" he asked, trying to seem concerned. 

Squirrelflight sighed, "Well, we kinda got in a fight..." 

Ashfur nodded in understanding. "I understand." 

"Thank you." she murmured. 

"BIIIIIIIITCCCCCHHHHHHHH!" Firestar scored his paws into Ashfur's side. "DON'T HURT MY BABY." he yowled. 

The clan looked at the scene for a moment before returning to their "business". This was quite normal. 

"D-dad?" 

"DAD?!" Ashfur jumped up with surprise. "HE'S YOUR DAD?" 

"OF COURSE, DUMBASS." she returned. 

Brambleclaw approached the scene and sighed. "Squirrelflight," he whispered, "I don't think you wanna get in the middle of a fight including an angry dad." 

Squirrelflight nodded and headed out of camp with Brambleclaw for some peace (NOT THAT WAY YOU PERVS). 

"Ferncloud's having more kits." Jayfeather quickly said to Leafpool as he grabbed herbs. 

"That slut." she chuckled. "How many this time?" 

"Looks like three." Jayfeather meowed as he walked out of the den. "Who's are they this time?" he joked. 

Ferncloud looked at him with daggered eyes, "They're always Dustpelt's." 

"No, they have always been his for the past 30 moons or so." 

Ferncloud looked at him in shock. Before she could say something, a sharp pain came across her. "N-no uh!" she stuttered. She squirmed with discomfort with the kits coming at any moment now. "OH STAR CLAN. THE KITS ARE COMING NOW!" 

"You got three little kittens. All are girls. I assume this one will make the most prey," he pointed to a beautiful she-kit that had remarkable silver tabby fur. 

"She's beautiful..." she murmured. 

"Are you saying the rest aren't?" he rose his eyebrows with amusement. 

Ferncloud jumped back, "N-no! The rest are! I was just commenting-" 

"Don't worry, I know," Jayfeather interrupted. "All the kittens are especially beautiful." 

Ferncloud nodded in agreement. "OH DUSTPELT!" 

"Are you really gonna make him pay child's support?" 

"Of course." she said with sass.

Chapter 3 theme - Think Twice - Eve 6


	4. Chapter 4

_Bitches keep messing up my suit._ Firestar thought as he walked around the pimp daddy store for cats. _Hmm... should my hat have a band made of Leopardstar's fur or feathers from pretty birdies?_ Firestar rummaged through all the hats in the store, and he finally decided on Leopardstar's fur. Now whenever they go in battle, they will think he beat the living hell out of Leopardstar. _Bitches shouldn't make it so hard to decide. Now, which paw bracelets should I get? Hmm... River Clan's special fish scales bracelet or Shadow Clan's pine needle stuff?_ Firestar obviously chose the fish scales. 

"That will be 27 pieces of fresh kill." the cash register cat meowed. 

"Mhm, bitch. I know that." he took out a sack that held exactly 27 pieces of fresh kill. "Let's roll." he said to himself as he grabbed his stuff and walked out like a boss. 

"Firestar!" the bottom bitch yelled cheekily at Firestar. 

"What bitch?" he grunted. 

"Well... It's..." 

"What? I got business in River Clan. Better make it fast, bitch." Firestar turned around with a not very amused face. 

Sandstorm realized that he was not in a good mood and thought of what to say. "Well, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw aren't arguing anymore... she just wanted me to tell you thanks for helping her earlier..." Sandstorm shifted her paws. 

Firestar's ears twitched as he tried to not reveal his happiness, "Ok. Let me speak to Assfur Ashfur." Firestar ordered and unsheathed his claws in case of the need to slap a bitch. 

"Ok." 

"Wait!" Firestar bit her tail. 

Sandstorm silently winced in pain as she turned back to Firestar. "Y-yes, Firestar?" 

_Stinkin' ass bitches, they need to wash up, don't get mad when I don't wanna-_

"Firestar?" Sandstorm timidly interrupted. 

Firestar then realized that he had been standing there and singing in his head for quite a while now. "Oh. Wash up, ho, before you talk to Assfur Ashfur." 

"Oh. Sorry, I will do that." 

"Better do that, bitch." Firestar mumbled as he walked past Sandstorm to enter River Clan. "SUP, BITCHES~! IT'S FIRESTAR~!" Firestar yowled at the top of his cat lungs. 

"Not him again..." Leopardstar mumbled quiet enough so Firestar couldn't hear. "Ok, why are you- What's with the get up?" Leopardstar meowed as she poked his suit and hat. 

"Don't touch. That's fine leather right there, ho." Firestar smacked her paws off his suit. 

"Hey-" 

"Listen, it's none of your business, bitch. I just needed to talk to some of your warriors." 

"Don't call me a-" 

Firestar exited the den, completely ignoring her. "So, I heard River Clan has nice bitches with big booties (nicer words are being used)." Firestar inspected all the she-cats with cruel judgment. Meh, Willowshine probably has the best chance. "I'll take her, then." Firestar grabbed her by the scruff and dragged her, even though she was resisting. 

"Firestar! What are you doing?!" she yowled. 

"Bitches don't talk to Firestar like that." he warned. 

Willowshine's face grew angrier at his remark, "OH! So you're so cool-" 

Firestar interrupted her with a bitch slap to her face. "I **said** bitches don't talk to Firestar like that." 

Willowshine cringed in pain as blood trickled from her nose. _It's not gonna leave a scar... Firestar must have known that. He wouldn't purposely make us look ugly. We wouldn't get clients that way. Wait, what if I…_ "I'm sorry, Firestar." she apologized. 

Firestar just replied with a grunt as he continued to drag her through Wind Clan's territory until they arrived at Thunder Clan. "Sup, Bitches. I'm back~!" Firestar yelled at the top of his lungs to draw the attention of the cats. 

Murmurs rose from the camp until Firestar silenced them. 

"Yes, you are probably wondering who she is. She is a River Clan specialty I picked out just for the clan. I assume Jayfeather wouldn't have a problem with it..." 

"But she's a medicine cat like me. We don't care, but she probably will." Jayfeather chimed in. 

Firestar gave an annoying sigh. _Ugh, is everyone seriously this stupid?_ "Since when did we care what she-cats think?" 

"Firestar..." Squirrelflight walked up to Firestar with Bramblebae Brambleclaw. "W-well, I have an announcement..." 

"What?" Firestar stopped ranting to listen. 

Squirrelflight looked at Brambleclaw and nodded to signal him to speak, "She wanted me to first tell you that we do still care about our she-cats. Yes, they may be bitches, but we need to keep them happy. They won't want to work for us if they're unhappy." 

Firestar rolled his eyes at the speech. Not this again. 

"But, I wanted to say that I want the next generation to have a legacy. One generation that will make this clan flourish... we will be above the other clans. But, with that some things _must_ change first." she kept her gaze steady with determination. 

_That's Squirrelflight. She's been so quiet lately. Maybe she wanted to say this for a while..._ "What must we change?" he lifted his chin. 

Squirrelflight took a deep breath to decide if she really wanted to say this. "I will tell you when so many cats aren't around-" 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH." the clan complained. It seemed as if they didn't like cliffhangers very much. 

"Very well." he paused. "You said you did have something you wanted to tell the whole clan. I think you know that you have to no matter what, now." Firestar hinted that she had no choice whether to say so or not. 

"Yes..." she let a dramatic silence fill the camp. She could hear the clan's loud breaths and saw their claws digging into the soft earth. "I will be expecting kits soon. They will fulfill the legacy I mentioned earlier..." 

"TELL US THE LEGACY, THEN!" 

"Haha, no." 

Chapter 4 theme- Ass and Titties - DJ Assault


	5. Chapter 5

"What's the legacy?" Firestar asked Squirrelflight who was no longer accompanied by Brambleclaw. 

"Firestar, it's quite obvious. You care about your daughters, and I think this news will make you happy." 

"Please, just explain already." 

Squirrelflight nodded and unsheathed her claws to start drawing on the dirt. "This is our clan," she drew a circle within a circle. "This is the other clans," she drew more circles, but they were outside their clan's circle. "We are different than those clans. Firestar, right now we are not our old clan. The clan that showed great compassion to all cats whether they were bitches or not." she drew a picture of a few cats interacting with each other. "But, we aren't that clan anymore. In order to remain this way but not be so alienated from the other clans, we must ask ourselves how we even got into this business." she continued to draw many figures and visual for Firestar. 

Firestar chuckled mockingly, "Haha, so you think that? You want us to go back to our old, boring clan? Nice try, but I don't think so." 

Squirrelflight waited for him to finish before closing her eyes while searching for patience, "No, not at all. I was thinking of reconstructing the warrior code." she drew pictures for each code. 

"Wait, what?" Firestar stared at the figures on the ground with confusion. "Are you saying that-" 

"Yes, yes I am. I believe if we start changing a few things at a time we might be able to." 

"What will we change first?" Firestar started seeing potential in her plans. 

Squirrelflight drew a picture of herbs with two cats picking them. She drew a line to connect them. "We change the code about medicine cats and no mates." 

"W-W-WHAT?! They will never change that code!" 

Squirrelflight then drew a very accurate picture of Blackstar. "Of course not, but if we can convince Star Clan, they may not be as condemning towards breakers of the code, possibly even forgetting. Now, I say we should start with Shadow Clan." Firestar tried to interrupt, but she continued anyway, "I know what you are thinking. "No, they would never!", but they would. They are just cats, after all. You are also thinking "They wouldn't even let us in their camp!". You're right, they wouldn't. If we somehow had a way to make them set themselves up, we wouldn't have to risk anything. I have a few ideas." 

"Explain." Firestar prompted her to continue. 

"Gladly," she replied confidently. "They will both require a she-cat who already likes gossip and can lie very well. The first idea is probably the most complex and would take the longest, but it would take less danger for us. We wouldn't have to risk going into their territory, hopefully. The second is a bit more risky, but it would be much faster." 

"Tell me the first, first." 

Squirrelflight shifted towards another area so she could have more space to draw, "But first, (let me take a selfie. Jk, not really) get the apprentices out of here." she tilted her head back to show him a few sneaky apprentices. 

"GET OUT OF HERE, DAMMIT!" Firestar said in the scariest tone you could imagine. The apprentices thankfully ran off before he could truly harm them. "Ok, let's continue." 

Squirrelflight drew a picture of the gathering island, "We go to the gathering and regularly talk to the Shadow Clan medicine cat (not Littlecloud, a female medicine cat). We act very "strangely" by feeding them information, pretending to be doing it mistakenly. If it doesn't work, we move on to another cat. The medicine cat would be the most vulnerable because she would be a direct source to Blackstar. We will feed them information that is distorted, details of the camp with things switched up. They will take advantage of the situation by trying to gain more territory. They're greedy already so that will be the easiest part. Once the cat we talk to tells the clan, they will say less and other cats will approach us. This is when we will start talking about a "mystery tom" we will have feelings for. We will describe a cat that's almost the exact same as Blackstar. We explain how happy we are and our medicine cat will be depressed and upset that she cannot have a mate. If we follow this plan carefully, we might be able to get the medicine cat to fall in love with Blackstar." 

Firestar continued to process the long explanation while looking at her drawings. "I see... the second is faster, right?" 

"Risky, but yes. Remember our new apprentices, Dovepaw and Ivypaw? The sisters? Since they have just became apprentices and haven't been announced in front of the other clans, we may use them. This is risky in many ways... we will have them mentored long enough to know some very basic fighting skills that are not advanced and show them how to hunt. Once they know these, we will have them live as rogues right at the outside of the territory that no one claims. We have them that way for a few moons to make sure they lose Thunder Clan's scent and they will actually be rogues. We have them wander in Shadow Clan's territory which we won't really have to do, for they will find their own way. The rest is just them doing the same thing as our earlier plan to make the medicine cat depressed and stuff." 

Firestar looked at his daughter with just complete and utter shock. "Oh." he managed to say. 

"Oh? Oh?! OH?! THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?!" 

"No... Your ideas are genius. I'm shocked at how a cat like you could come up with such a thing..." 

"So, that's a yes on the plans?" 

"Yes... now, which plan should we use?" 

"Why not both~?" she smirked evilly. 

Firestar chuckled and thought. "I guess bitches can do math..." 

Squirrelflight snickered as they continued discussing their plans. 

Chapter 5 theme- No current theme 


	6. Chapter 6

"Firestar..." Sandstorm stepped back slowly. 

"Hm?" 

"This plan is stupid." she said bluntly. 

Firestar flicked his ears back in frustration. "WHAT YOU SAY, BITCH?!" he then raked rigid claws against tender, light ginger bitch fur. He licked the blood off his paws and regained his composure, "Sandstorm, you will do as I say." Firestar did not state, he threatened. 

"Y-yes, Firestar..." 

Firestar sighed and bit straight into her tail, "No, no, no, no. You cannot go to the medicine den yet. Listen, we are going to form a maid cafe tomorrow. I need you, Leafpool, and Mousefur to make the maid dresses. Remember, if you don't make them to my liking, you will get sparked (referenceeeeee), bitch." 

"Let me see the fabulous maid dresses~!" Firestar skipped into the moon with his tail twirling in the air cheerfully. 

"What's going on?" Leafpool whispered to Sandstorm. 

"He's going through another stage. The fabulous/gay stage. Get ready." she whispered and quickly straightened her posture while making sure the scratch he gave her earlier was hidden. 

Firestar danced in the middle of the den then squealed, "OH MY GOSH! THESE DRESSES ARE FAB-U-LOUS!" Firestar grabbed a dress and twirled it with him in the air. "You guys are major life savers! Thank you sooooooooooo much!" 

"Mhm!" 

"I already had Brambleclaw take care of the cafe, so we need to get all the she-cats ready!" a determined look smeared across his face, ready for the challenge. "Get all the she-cats in here for their dress fittings~!" 

"I think this is the first time in forever that he's not called us bitches..." Sandstorm quickly reminded the she-cats and continued to fit them into cute and revealing maid dresses while helping them learn new techniques. "Remember, the customer should always be known as master/mistress. If they begin harassing you, get me. We have the right to deny service for them." Sandstorm explained quickly. 

"Ok..." Honeyfern meowed, seemingly unconvinced. "What do you think Berrynose will say?" (Yes, Author-chan ships them) Honeyfern attempted to scratch her fur as the clothing was itchy, but the fabric snagged her claw instead. "Help!" she squeaked. 

"Let me help you." Poppyfrost gently separated her claw from the fabric. _Why does she get Berrynose? If only a snake would conveniently enter the camp and... No! Poppyfrost, don't think like that!_

"Poppyfrost... what do you think Berrynose will say..." 

_Oh, why?_ "Um... I think he'll like it. Maid cafes are very popular with the toms these days..." she rambled on as she tried to avoid the conversation. 

Honeyfern took a deep breath and thought everything over. _I'll hint about kits today. He can't be that mouse brained._ "Thanks, Poppyfrost." 

-Brought to you by The Overlord of Pointless Deaths- 

"Don't you think kits are great?" Honeyfern mumbled dreamily as she watched kits play around the cafe. 

"Are you saying bitches love kits?" 

She nodded with a blush that remained to never be seen with her face watching the ground steadily. "Would you like something to drink, Master?" she remembered what Sandstorm told them earlier about what to call the customers. 

"Yeah. Something that doesn't taste completely awful." his voice remained bitter as usual, typical Berrynose. 

"Yes, Master." she meowed as she walked to the kitchen. She took a random drink and walked towards his table. Just as she was about to reach his table, she tripped on a chair. Since the chair was old and flimsy it quickly collapsed. One of the chair's broken pieces became sharp in the process and impaled her. 

Berrynose shot up in concern.

 _Wait, is that Berrynose? The big, fat, butthole-like, smart-assed, annoying, moody, mysteriously a cat, Berrynose? Oh, I guess it really is him... Strange._

"Don't die! We won't ever have kits or anything like that! I don't know what I should say when cats die, so I hope bitches die peacefully. I love you, bitch." he sincerely cried while collapsing on her dead corpse. Yes, she never heard his speech. Yes, it was pointless since she could not hear, but Berrynose continued. 

Poppyfrost slowly stepped back in terror and her tray crashed to the ground. _D-did I do t-that?_ her dress's fabric swirled in the air as she exited the restaurant. This normally would have caused much confusion, but there was enough going on to distract the others. She collapsed from exhaustion at a tree well away from the maid cafe. _It's my fault! I wanted her dead! I did it! I touched the chair earlier and must have broken it! I'm a murderer!_ pitiful tears ran down her cheeks to the fabric of the dress. "Fuck dresses!" she spat in frustration as she shredded the pieces of the dress. The dress that was special and made just for her was now scattered on the ground, never to be worn again. Too much pain was in that dress. This pain is just too real. There is just too much that time cannot erase (REFERENCE). 

Chapter 6 theme- The Gay Song


	7. Chapter 7

Firestar yawned and stretched as light filtered through a hole in his den. _Light's a bitch._ He rose to his paws grumpily and stretched. _Sleeping's a bitch._ His ginger paws skimmed the earth of the camp as he saw two cats doing the nasty. 

"Berrynose! Help me with this rat!" Poppyfrost whined while she struggled to find the rat's kidney (REFERENCE), actually, she struggled to learn how to even cut... anything. 

"I swear, Honeyfern was so much better at dissecting a rat. 

Poppyfrost just displayed a frown while Berrynose dissected the rat. "I-I... I'm g-gonna go f-fix my w-weaves." she muttered awkwardly as she walked to Hollyleaf's weave salon, "Hey! I need to talk over some weaves." 

"Ok... What's up?" Hollyleaf sat her at a comfortable moss patch placed across a tree stump, creating a comfortable, yet functional place to sit. Hollyleaf grabbed a long, black weave and began sticking them to her fur. 

"Well... BERRYNOSE MOLESTED ME AGAIN." 

_This bitch. Is she saying this, AGAIN? We all know he didn't. Why would he want her? I mean, sorry honey, you're not that pretty!_ Hollyleaf then realized she was thinking the whole time and smacked her paw to her forehead. "Um... Screw that bitch-ass-" 

"WOAH, RIDGESTAR-CHAN, WE CAN'T WRITE THAT WORD ON THE INTERNET." Hollyleaf quickly slapped my hands from the keyboard with a shocked expression. "Are you stupid?" she whisper-yelled the last part. 

"Sorry..." I muttered, hanging my head. "You guys go back to usual. I'll do better next time, 'kay?" I apologized and then walked off the, even though Hollyleaf was still a bit pissed. With what? I'm not really sure... 

"Anyway..." Hollyleaf walked back in and continued fixing the weaves. "I heard on Sky Clan's TV station's channel about the newest fashion said I should put a weave the color of your eyes on your tail..." she muttered as she performed said action, actually looking better than Hollyleaf expected. 

"This is amazing!" she gave Hollyleaf a small lick behind the ear before running back into camp. 

_Do I look like a slut?_

_Uh huh._

_Shut up._

_Do I look like a slut?_

_Uh huh._

_Shut up._

With headphones, Firestar continued to jerk his head side to side in accordance to the music's beat as he obnoxiously sang out loud. Brambleclaw, who had had quite enough of his shit finally walked into the den. 

"BITCHHHHHHHHHHH." he banged his paw onto the wall creating a loud _THUD_ noise. "Bitch, you are getting on my last nerve. I will go to your house and rape you and your families... I will make _all_ of them my slaves. They will _continually_ be raped and killed _every day_ for my own kitty sexual desires. They will enjoy every bit of it, though. It won't ever be rape because they consent and enjoy it. It will never end. We will have countless amounts of fun! When I sense they have passed their prime, we gotta dispose of them, right?" 

"Whut?" Firestar took off his headphones to hear him. 

"STAR CLAN, NO. I WILL TELL STAR CLAN ALL YOU ARE DOING. ABOUT THE HOES, BITCHES, AND SLUTTY MUSIC. SO SHUT UP BEFORE I DO, BITCH." Brambleclaw stormed out of the den with a cute angry face (don't tell him it's cute, though). 

"Brambleclaw?" Squirrelflight blocked his path with a determined yet hurt look. "What's going on? Why were you yelling at Firestar?" she looked somewhat hurt. 

"Why don't you go ask Firestar?" he said sarcastically. 

"Brambleclaw, quit being a dick!" she yowled. 

Brambleclaw repeated the words mockingly and silently while walking away. 

Squirrelflight shook her head then walked into Firestar's den. 

_Do I look like a slut?_

_Uh huh._

_Shut up._

_Do I look like a slut?_

_Uh huh._

_Shut up_

Firestar's headphones remained in his ears while he played the song OVER AND OVER. 

Squirrelflight stood frozen in shock, and she could not move from her spot for some time... Let's just say Firestar repeated the song 13 times before she could say something, "Firestar... WHAT THE HELL?!" she ripped the headphones out of his ear with her teeth. 

"BITCH, DON'T KILL MY VIBE. I WAS TRYNA THINK ABOUT OUR PLAN. GUR, I SWEAR I'M GONE-" 

"FIRESTAR!" she yowled over his ranting. "Listen, it's very important... I...I-I'm..." 

"You're what?" he interrupted rudely. 

Squirrelflight swallowed and finally summoned the courage to answer (because I like Tsundere Squirrelflight more :)), "Well... I'm expecting kits." 

"OMIGAWSH, GURL! THAT'S AMAZING! LET'S HAVE A KIT SHOWER!" he yowled, sadly loud enough for Cinderheart to hear. 

"OMIGAWSH, FIRESTAR! HE THROWS THE BEST KITS SHOWERS! THERE'S PRETZEL'S, COCAINE, QUEEN PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, A MIDGET STRIPPER-" 

"WAIT, WHAT? I MAY HAVE ENJOYED THAT BACK IN MY APPRENTICE DAYS, BUT I'M DIFFERENT NOW! I'M NOT DOING THAT!" she referred back to when she was an apprentice, enjoying the legendary Firestar kit showers that all the clans heard about, but they could never get in. "Wait... Cinderheart, you weren't born when Firestar started throwing kit showers... Is there something I don't know?" 

"Of course not! I always just have this amnesia like I was born at that time..." 

"Maybe you're just a hipster?" 

Cinderheart's normal easy-going attitude was changing. She didn't like that comment, apparently. "OH HELLLLLL NO. I KNOW THIS BITCH DID NOOOT CALL ME A HIPSTER." 

"YOU WANNA BET?" 

Chapter 7 theme- (WARNING! IT'S REALLY REALLY INAPPROPRIATE) Do I Look Like a Slut? - Avenue D.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ok, bitches and pimps of Thunder Clan, please listen or I will whoop yo ass-" 

Brambleclaw quickly jumped up the rock and prodded Firestar's side, whispering something. 

"Oh. Ahem, cats of Thunder Clan. Tonight is the gathering. I know that we usually talk about new apprentices, but please, do not tell the other clans about Dovepaw and Ivypaw. In order to prevent that, we will invite our more quiet cats, just in case. That way cats like *cough* BERRYNOSE *cough*-" 

Brambleclaw poked Firestar and whispered more things into his ear. 

"I will not rape the kits for you! Oh no... I said that out loud..." 

"WHAT?!" Daisy yowled in distress, herding her kits around her protectively. "Brambleclaw! What is this about?!" 

"Yeah! Why, Brambleclaw!? Did you forget about the kits?!" 

"KITS?!" Leafpool exclaimed in confusion and anger. 

"W-wait-" 

"I SAID NOTHING ABOUT RAPING CATS. I TOLD HIM TO NOT SAY STUFF ABOUT BERRYNOSE OUT LOUD. WE SAVE THAT STUFF FOR POKER WITH SHADOW CLAN." Brambleclaw quickly butted into the conversation that was quickly getting out of paw. "Daisy, I promise I never did, nor never will rape or harm your kits in any way. Leafpool, Squirrelflight is expecting kits-" 

"WHO'S THE DADDY, THEN?" Leafpool questioned. 

All of the cats stared at Leafpool blankly, wondering how a bitch could possibly be this stupid. 

"Me." Brambleclaw finally answered.

"I THOUGHT YOU HATED SQUIRRELFLIGHT." 

Squirrelflight had obviously had enough with all the reminders of what had happened, and she ran out of the camp crying, heading towards the lake to view its tranquility. 

"Well look what you did!" Brambleclaw meowed. "Firestar, please don't possibly screw this meeting up any more than it is. I gotta talk to Squirrelflight." Brambelclaw rushed out of the camp without another word, heading towards the lake. 

"Lol, Brambleclaw is so desperate!" Ashfur whispered in Hollyleaf's ear. 

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ALREADY!" 

"Um... follow me," he used Sol's hypnotizing voice. "I will discuss the um... prophecy!" 

"Ok. I'll go get Lionblaze and Jayfeather!" 

Ashfur's eyes widened at what this would mean, "No! They will trick you into thinking I was lying. They hate me, so only you must go." he waved his paws in the air to add to his hypnotic Sol mockery. 

"Alright." Hollyleaf meowed in her ditsy voice, following Ashfur out of the camp. They kept walking until they were quite a far distance from the camp, extremely deep into the territory. 

"Hey, Hollyleaf," Ashfur sat down on the crisp grass, holding back a gnarly Yandere laugh (Ridgestar-chan misses when those words were coollll). "Can I rape you?" 

"WHAT THE FUCK, ASSFUR! ASSSSSSSSFUR. NO. NO. NNNNOOOOOOOOOO. THIS IS WHY I KILLED YOU. HOW ARE YOU EVEN ALIVE?" 

Ashfur stayed silent, looking towards a patch of clovers. _She is getting too smart! Bitches can't be smart!_ "Ugh, fine. Booty Clan decided to keep me alive since I was so faithful to Booty Clan..." 

"Booty what now?" Hollyleaf raised her eyebrows in a condescending fashion. 

"You know, Booty Clan." 

"Is that a clan made of butts? I don't know, Assfur... I knew you were stupid, but this is…" 

"No! It's real! It's like Star Clan, but it's not stupid! We-" 

"DID YOU JUST CALL STAR CLAN STUPID?!" 

_Note to self (Ashfur): Never talk to Hollyleaf seriously when she is on her period... or at all..._ "Well, they are like Star Clan... They are our warrior ancestors... well, not all of our ancestors. You see, my mother and father loved the booty, even more than me. They are in Booty Clan right now. They're probably getting some booty right now as we speak..." 

"That's sick." 

"That's what you think." 

"..." Hollyleaf, completely speechless with this whole predicament, said... well, nothing. She was speechless, after all. _Lol, the reader must be really stupid to think a speechless cat could say anything. Lol, dumbass._

"Anyway, my parents are with many other cats in Booty Clan, getting some booty. Booty Clan was made for cats rejected from Star Clan because Bluestar always has a stick up her butt because she couldn't have sex with Oakheart. She thinks it's sick because she's a bitch, so she sent all cats who weren't completely stupid and loved booty to a dark and void place. She brainwashed all of Star Clan and all living cats who were alive to forget the events. The only cats who know are those of the original Booty Clan bloodline. In other words, my family, which started around Adderfang and Swiftbreeze. Now, Adderfang loved the booty, but Swiftbreeze didn't. Hehe, bitch... With the kits they had, they both desperately tried to convince their kits to be one way. This cause half of the bloodline to be bootylicious and the other half bitches. Then, one day Dustpelt was given a dream from the amazing Sasha... Yes, she was not from the original bloodline, but she loved the booty so much that she stepped down to make love with Tigerstar. This caused Booty Clan to be overjoyed. They brought her in. Though, only one of her offspring, Hawkfrost, became a Booty Clan warrior. Oh, I got off track. Silly me. So, Sasha gave Dustpelt and extremely hot and sexy dream. This made his testosterone increase by 1,000,000,000,000... This is why my sister, Ferncloud, is constantly having nonstop births. Dustpelt does it with her everyday so much that she is almost immune to sex. Yes, she-cats are getting too advanced for us. Instead of just submitting to the toms, they fight back like little bitch-ass Tsunderes. Most of them don't even want to have sex anymore. Yes, sad, but true." 

"HOLD UP." Hollyleaf interrupted. "None of this makes since-" 

"TOO BAD, BITCH. DEAL WITH IT, OR I REALLY WILL RAPE YOU!" He used his extremely strong paws to hold her down with ease. 

"Ok..." she finally submitted to his authority, almost aroused by the way he held her down. "THAT'S SO HOT." 

"OH, SO WE GOT A LITTLE MASOCHIST HERE. I'll take care of you later, baby." Ashfur said in his sexy, seductive voice. 

"YES." 

(Ridgestar-chan can't stop laughing from her own writing right now. This story went from offensive to illegal in many countries, I'm sure...) 

Ashfur tried to recollect himself and not let the situation get too out of paw... Ashfur's thoughts finally clicked, and he realized what was going on. _Oh, she's not on her period! She's in heat!_ Yes, most cats by now would have realized that cats don't really get periods, but Ashfur isn't the brightest, remember? 

"Ashfur?" Hollyleaf breathed. 

"Oh, yeah. So, Booty Clan revived me as a prophet of Booty Clan. They want me to make Booty Clan thrive again. WE'LL SHOW STAR CLAN!" 

"Why don't they just have kits in Booty Clan?" Hollyleaf finally asked a good question. 

_Wow, bitches are getting too advanced. This is why Squirrelflight should have loved me, not Brambleclaw!_

(Ashfur, do anything to my Bramblebae or my Squirrelbitch, and you die!) 

"Well," Ashfur was trying to think of a simple explanation. "There is no suffering in Booty Clan, unlike Star Clan. Kits are the reason we don't get enough booty. Some she-cats hate having kits, and she-cats are honestly uglier when they get preggers..." 

"...I hate how that last sentence was way too true..." Hollyleaf admitted. 

"Also, she-cats get grumpy when preggers. Of course, some true Booty Clan cats want booty even more when preggers. Of course, this is very rare since she-cats are advancing and aren't as simple as they used to be. I also hear that giving birth is quite painful, but how would I know. So, with all these downsides, Booty Clan decided to make all cats infertile upon entering Booty Clan, if they were not already. Of course, when they go back to earth they are restored back to normal..." 

"Ashfur, I think I've decided to became a believer in Booty Clan." 

"Bootyite." Ashfur corrected.  
"Yes, I have decided to become a Bootyite."  
"This makes me overjoyed, Hollyleaf." Ashfur grinned and finally released the gnarly laugh he had waited so long to release.


	9. Chapter 8 (LEMON)

AshfurxHollyleaf

"Ashur…" Hollyleaf panted after the explanation that lasted about ten minutes from Ashfur, but it felt like hours. "Please…" she waved her tail suggestively against his member. 

"I think you've waited long enough." Ashfur felt himself grow as he watched the dark she-cat start to take control of him. _It seems like she's hypnotized me, this time._ Ashfur was relieved that the lie he told her was a lie. If you go to Booty Clan then come back, you will remain infertile. _Maybe she figured it out. Maybe she doesn't care…_ Ashfur shook himself from his thoughts as Hollyleaf started to make her core rub against him.

"Ashfur… ravish me." She meowed in the sexiest voice she could possibly make.

Ashfur couldn't get enough of the much younger she-cat who was obviously a virgin. "Alright." he knew this was now what she wanted, so he had her consent. It isn't rape anymore; it's sex. Ashfur used his chin to lift her butt from its sitting position on his lap. He noticed she was slightly throbbing "down there", and he licked her like a kitty pet would lap up cream. His tongue glided her pussy in a curled way, making her jolt with each lick.

"Ah, Ashfur…!" she moaned as she struggled to stand as his coarse tongue rubbed against her folds.

Ashfur smirked as he stuck his tongue deeper inside her, making her shiver.

"Ah…"

Ashfur continued licking until she moaned sharply while clear juices started to drain from her. He lapped it up expertly, making her feel even more pleasure. Yes, this wasn't his first. Booty Clan had actually made him infertile from his birth. Ashfur remembered back to the times when it was him and Squirrelflight. Whenever Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight got into a fight, he would give her comfort sex.

"Ashfur…" she whispered. "Fill me up…" she stared down at his throbbing erection in need.

"No," he saw her disappointed face and almost felt bad, but he stayed his ground, "Not until you suck my dick." he pointed downwards greedily. He spread his legs out, so she could have more room to give him pleasure.

"I've never done this before…" Hollyleaf muttered.

"You can't mess up a bj unless you're retarded, which you are not. So, do it _now_." he demanded, arousing her even more.

Without another word, she dived down onto his dick, sucking and swirling her tongue around it.

"Ngh…" Ashfur grunted and placed a paw on her head, forcing her to continue.

Hollyleaf rolled her tongue back and forth on his dick's head. Swirling and bobbing her head… Ashfur couldn't be any more pleased with her, let alone a virgin.

Ashfur grunted again while cum started to rush down her throat.

"Now? Please!" she begged.

"Fine." Ashfur meowed grumpily. "Turn the fuck around." he commanded.

Hollyleaf became wet at his bossiness.

Ashfur then stuck his large dick into her pussy. He grabbed her breasts at the same time and used them as a handle. Her pussy was tearing, and she almost cried a bit. Then, she felt so much indescribable pleasure.

"Ah… Ngh… Oh…" she moaned.

Ashfur continued penetrating her. His thrusts made an almost tap-like sound.

"Ah… Harder! Oh… Faster! Ngh!" she moaned loudly. She pressed herself against him to make him beat harder into her.

Ashfur started to beat into her pussy harder and faster, hitting her g-spot hardly and rhythmically. "Ugh." He grunted. 

"Ah! Ah! Yes! Yes! Ashfuuuuuurrrrrr!" she yowled in pleasure as they both came. "Ha… ha… ha…" she panted. "That was amazing…"

Ashfur didn't stop though. He turned her around again to have her stand for round 2. He mounted on top of her and rammed into her. Hollyleaf whimpered in pleasure. He angled himself so his dick was rubbing her clit at the same time.

Ashfur's mind then wandered a but as he recognized her heat scent, similar to Squirrelflight's. He wanted Squirrelflight so bad, but he couldn't have her. He shook his head and continued ramming into her, imagining it was Squirrelflight.

"Yes! Yes, Ashfur! Fuck me! Fuck me harder! Ah!" she moaned.

 _That's exactly what Squirrelflight said…_ Ashfur's heart started to hurt as he thought of her. He tried to clear his thoughts and focus on Hollyleaf, but Squirrelflight still remained in the back of his mind. He rammed into her almost angrily, as he thought it would help him forget, but it only brought him more emotional pain. He then pressed even harder in her pussy hitting her g-spot extremely fast.

"Ahhh! Ahhhhhh! Ah! Ashfur! Yes! Yes! I'm gonna- I'm gonna cum! Oh! Oh! Oh! Fuck me! Ah!" she screamed loudly in her orgasm.

Hollyleaf's screaming turned him on, making him reach his end. His cum rushed into her and mixed with hers. They both stood panting with smiles on their faces. "Come-"

The word "come" made Hollyleaf even wetter. She started rubbing her paw on her pussy until Ashfur grabbed her by the scruff and pushed her against a tree, trapping her effectively.

"Listen, you horny bitch." He said roughly. "You had way more than enough sex. You better be really fucking glad I was your first and not some little dick nigga like Berrynose. Now let's head back to camp." He commanded.

"Let me clean the… cum… off first." She tried to stop him dragging her.

"No. That is your punishment. Walk in camp with cum all over you because I want everyone to know you're mine."

"Why am I being punished?"

"You started touching yourself when you could have let me do it for you!"

"Oh… Sorry, _master_." She put emphasis on master, knowing it turned him on.

The pair then walked into the camp with Hollyleaf standing closely beside Ashfur. She tried to hide the cum all over her body, but many noticed. Sadly, the toms noticed the most. They didn't seem to want to leave her alone. Ashfur fiercely protected her, though, from the other toms. This was likely the beginning of a long term relationship.


	10. Chapter 9

Firestar grunted as he sat on the cold floor of his den. "Hey bitch," he called Sandstorm standing timidly in the corner of the room.

"Yes, Firestar?" she asked weakly.

"Waaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeelllllll (Well in Firestar's ghetto talk), I need you to get Brambleclaw."

"Yes, Firestar." she walked out and Brambleclaw walked in with Sandstorm shortly after.

Brambleclaw sat on his butt uncomfortably. Firestar looked in confusion, wondering what was the problem. "What is it?"

Brambleclaw snorted and turned his head away rudely, but he quickly screeched in pain. "AUGH!"

Firestar's ears flicked back at the sudden loud noise, then he saw the large stick up Brambleclaw's butt. "Where did that stick come from? Are you gay?!" Firestar didn't want to imagine all the possible gay things he could be doing with other cats in Thunder Clan, particularly Assfur Ashfur. EVERYONE knows that male cats have gay sex whenever fighting over a she-cat. How it is effective, no one is sure, but it totally works. Every. Single. Time.

"No, Firestar. I'm not gay." Brambleclaw replied in a teenaged girl who is pissed off tone. "I was just, like, talking to Squirrelflight-"

"DON'T STICK A STICK UP MY BABY'S ASS!" Firestar yowled in rage, starting to attack Brambleclaw.

"Nigga," Brambleclaw meowed. "Get the fuck off my back." Brambleclaw shaked his pelt until Firestar was flinged roughly into the hard stone wall. "I didn't stick a damn stick up her ass." Brambleclaw winced in pain. "I was sleeping and apparently Ashfur thought it would be funny if he stuck a stick up my ass." Brambleclaw meowed grumpily.

"Aww, is wittle Bramblecwaw upset becawse someone put a stick up your butt?" Firestar meowed in mocking talking to a baby tone.

Brambleclaw said nothing. "Why did you want me in here, again?"

"Oh yeah... when are you and Squirrelflight gonna have them kits?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOU TOO!" Brambleclaw stormed out of the den, still in severe pain as he walked to the medicine den.

"Sandstorm..." Firestar spoke in a soft, serious tone.

"Yes?" a spark of hope pricked her pelt at the thought that Firestar might say something nice to her for once.

"Can you... grab my mice tail tassels?"

Sandstorm nodded and grabbed the tail tassels. "Here." she meowed, helping him adjust the tail tassels.

"I'm gonna watch around the clan."

"Ok..." Sandstorm was going to question this, but she decided just to ignore it.

Firestar walked out of the den and watched around the camp, but, within seconds, he heard something strange.

"Seven a.m., waking up in the morning."

 _Is that Mousefur?_ Firestar questioned in his mind.

"Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs."

 _Hey, that's Purdy..._

"Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal." __

_Longtail, too?!_ Firestar's thoughts were jumbled with all that was going on. His fur puffed up in shock when he saw Longtail pull out a bowl of preeyios. __

(That was a pun, if you were so incomprehensible you couldn't figure it out. He had cereal, and cats wouldn't have cheerios. They would have preeyios instead. Preeyios is a cereal consisting of mice flavored bits to be DELICIOUS) __

"Seein' everything, the time is goin'." Cloudtail's sexy voice joined in. __

Oh, Firestar was quite aware of what was going on. If anything, he was too aware. __

"Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'." Mousefur continued. __

"Gotta get down to the bus stop." Purdy sang weakly. __

"Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)." Longtail said with Cloudtail repeating "my friends". __

Then, Firestar couldn't fight it anymore. "Kickin' in the front seat." __

"Sittin' in the back seat." Hollyleaf added. __

"Gotta make my mind up." Yellowfang quickly came from Star Clan to sing that line.

"Which seat can I take?" Jayfeather muttered. __

"It's Friday, Friday; Gotta get down on Friday." all of the cats singing sang the chorus, making the most perfect melody. "Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend." they all sang happily. "Friday, Friday; Gettin' down on Friday! Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend." They all finished dramatically. __

"OH HELL NO!" Bluestar, the bootylicious Star Clan member whom refused to join Booty Clan because she is still mad about the Oakfart thing, drove in front of the camp. Her butt was as big as two basketballs, but not too overwhelming. Her cat mobile was playing "Super Bass" with the bass all the way up. Her hot pink dress was low cut around her kitty breast, and her... "REAR END" was letting it all hang out. __

(*internal snickering*) __

"Bluestar!" Firestar said with annoyance. "I thought you were dead and would finally leave me alone." __

"You wish." __

"Why're you here? To torture me?" Firestar meowed mockingly. __

"Nigga, I ain't got time for your questions. I just needed ya'll to stop singing... bleh... FRIDAY!" Bluestar immediately threw up after saying the song's name. "Just stop it." __

"Why?" __

"Because it made me throw up, dumbass!" __

"Is that a bad thing?" Firestar challenged. __

"Ok, you know what. Peace out. You can run your clan without me." Bluestar snorted. __

Firestar smiled. "Yes! Now I can enjoy my life!" __

Bluestar only hissed in annoyance before leaving. __

"Le awesome me~!" Firestar mumbled loudly before going back to his den to sleep.


End file.
